Saturday, December 31, 2011

Really

it was never the same without you
so another year has gone by

Didn't want a year without you
But somehow I've lived through another one



so yeah. this blog will never be the same. as usual, as people grow older, they start abandoning their blogs...
or is it just my circle of friends? :P

i'll come back,
i will
when i have a poem or two
when i have a thought or two
when i have nothing to do
but sometimes i just may not
so you'll have to ignore me. :)

i'll try my best to study hard this year.
it's the last year, anyway (unless i decide to do form 6, which is quite unlikely)

i'll try my best to stop being so emotionally attached to everything.

i'll try to let go.





so i see the bright light already
all i have to do is climb up to it
climb to it in hope, never looking back
looking toward the One who saves
to the One who will be my strength :)

Fruitcakes (New Year's Eve's Eve)

so i think apart from all the emo-ness
you've got to agree that i was crazy tonight
all the love i'm feeling from the air
seriously, .....................................
*blanks out too lazy to continue.
i think i'm high
i don't know why

Thursday, December 29, 2011

i am lost, i am vain
i will never be the same without you,
without you




i'd fold so many hearts
hearts out of paper
and one day i'd present it to you
i'd present it to you because it means something
it means that i think of you
i think of you when i'm bored
and i'm only happy when i love you

i'd show you my favourite poem
the one that i wrote
i'm sorry if it's not for you
i'm sorry i've loved someone else
but my past is over
my past is gone
you accepted my past
and that's why i show you,
show you my favouritest things

i listen to Katy Perry's emo song
i listen to Owl City's Vanilla Twilight
and i think of the times i failed
i think of the times i was being naive
because i think i can get away with it
i think i can get away with love

along the lines i've learnt
not through personal experience
i've learnt through what i see
what i hear
what they tell me
i've learnt that love is a commitment
love isn't just a feeling
it's not what you leave by the street just cause you're finally sick of it
it's a tattoo that can never be removed,
and you've got to be able to carry it

i've learnt that love is not only what you want
in fact, it's never about what you want



*

typing this out, i was thinking of someone.
but no, i'm not in love. never been in love. i just see what love is, and i'll embrace it when it comes. love is waiting, but love needs not be rushed. love will wait. :)

so i just felt like giving you a post. sorry if i'm #foreveremo HAHAHAHAH, if you get me. ._.




*

sometimes i'm too afraid
i'm too afraid to strive
i'm too afraid to fight
i'm too afraid to fight for us to happen
too afraid to fight for you

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

you were

you're never there anymore.

they say there's gonna be that one person that will be your best friend, and just that one person.
i believed that.
i believed that the one person, will be someone you can rely on
will be someone you can tell anything to
will be someone who can tell you the right thing even though it's not what you want to hear
will be someone you can have the stupidest debates with
you were that person.

but now, you're not here.
you're not even near.
but it doesn't matter.
it really doesn't matter.
whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. i will be stronger.
God, i know You're here.

though i can't feel You, i have learnt to reach out just the same

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Because The Moon Inspired My Heart To Sing :)

11th November 2011

Have you ever felt human?
I guess most of us have
feeling human, to me, at least,
is to realize
that there are things that are out of our grasp
that there are things that we want to achieve,
but may not be able to,
still knowing that we can try.


So, have you ever felt human?
When you were watching the night sky
and you stared in awe
at the moon shining
and the clouds surrounding it,
creating a silhouette,
for the already-pretty dark sky
and you want to fly through the clouds,
on a broomstick like in the TV shows,
perhaps with someone you adore?

But you realize
that these are the things that are out of your grasp
that this is what you want to achieve,
but may not be able to,
still knowing that you can try.


So, I guess you have felt human,
When you were watching the night sky
and you stared in awe
at the moon shining,
and you noticed Sirius
so bright and beautiful
much closer to the moon
and much more powerful

But you realize
that Sirius has a bigger chance
a bigger chance of colliding into the moon
that you are clearly off limits
and that meeting the moon is out of your grasp
that this is what you want to achieve,
but may not be able to,
still knowing that you can try.

So, I guess you have felt human,
when all else fails
and all you want is someone to catch you
when you fall
when you're bruised
when you're already on the ground
all you want is someone to care for you

But you realize
that these are the things that are out of your grasp
that this is what you want to achieve,
but may not be able to,
still knowing that you can try

Aren't we only human?
Don't you realize,
that there are things that are out of our grasp
that there are things that we want to achieve,
but may not be able to,
but you still should know that we can try.

And if you fail,
it's okay,
it's not the end,
it's only the beginning.
Why don't you start?
Start again

cause there is hope
when you have faith
there is One
who will never fail
there is One
whose peace prevails
through the trials and pains

*

so don't you think it's a little absurd,
that just looking at the bright, shining moon can stir up such inspiration in an idle mind?
No, I don't think it's absurd at all! :)

God is good all the time!
He is more than enough!

*




Well the sun is surely sinking down
But the moon is slowly rising
And this old world must still be spinning 'round
But I still love you


Oh can you feel the gravity falling, calling us home?
Oh, did you see the stars colliding, shining just to show we belong?

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Idealism?

oh!
i'm back here more often than i thought i'd be! :P

well just one thought,

as an idealist,
as an over-optimist,
as one who tends to set foot on the clouds more than on the ground,
we need friends who will pull us back down
we need friends who will hold out their hands so we can jump down and have something to hold on to
we need friends who are willing to kill that idiotic "the world isn't flat, the world isn't round, the world is HEART SHAPED!" bubble of ours
we need friends who are gonna set your feet on the ground again
because the world isn't heart shaped,
it's round, it's cruel
how else are we gonna break out alive if we don't step on the ground?

friends are a gift from God
we're all different
so we need others to help us with parts we aren't good at, that they're good at

*

okay, that was just a random thought
very grateful for friends like that
somehow i am very fond of people who dare break my idiotic bubble of hope...
no, no, i am not implying there is anything wrong in hope!
hope is a beautiful thing and is necessary for us to continue living in joy!
but having the wrong idea and having so much hope will very much lead us to a fall or something....

opinions may differ,
ideas may clash
whatever it is, i have said what i thought about,
an achievement that is!
i hope you'll be able to see more of this!
to God be all the glory for the inspiration! :)

*

okay, daily updates:
school was taxing today
mentally
emotionally
my brain was so crunched up,
but i am always able to find rest in God and God alone! :)

i am so thankful for all He has given to me.
thank You God, for all You've done
for Your grace and mercy
and Your blessings and gifts!

i'm giving it all away, away
i'm giving it all to go Your way!


God bless!

Monday, October 31, 2011

In You, In You Alone


i still find hope,
in the littlest things
i still find hope,
in You.

and i know in anything,
i can rest
and i will know
that i will find rest in You.












it's been a long time since i had such meaningful conversations on MSN
and what was it about the last time? immature things, i guess.
but now it is different. it's on a whole new different level.

this joy i am feeling
it's not the same as last time
because i don't feel the same way about this people anymore

it is just so nice to have people to discuss things with again.
:)
thank You, God.


spinning out in circles, in circles, in circles



You're everything,
You're in everything,
You're in every cry,
it all ends and starts with You, my King

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I Hear Singing! The Choirs, It Must Be! :)

*the poem i wrote on the way to Cameron Highlands and at Camerons! :)

(it's not really a poem. so yeah. forgive me! :P )

i'll guarantee a life
if i were God,
if i could be the Giver of Life.
to have in return,
some of your attention,
some care & affection.

but that i cannot do,
but there is One who will,
who has already done so too,
it's just for you to choose.


the darker it is, the brighter the light.

*

okay, well, sorry for not updating. i had lots to say, i just didn't know how to!.. or maybe i just wasn't determined enough. haha.

well yes, EXAMS ARE OVER!
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I CAN NOW PLAY EVERY SINGLE DAY AND NOT STUDY! :D :D :D :D

okay, so i'll try to keep my post as organized as possible, but i know i'll fail. so just bear with me :P

okay well, God has been amazing.
i mean, when has He not been? maybe when we weren't looking, but He's still amazing!

so the littlest things count!

today, when i was doing my Science paper one,
i just went through it lah
i usually check another once through and i won't care about the paper anymore cause i hate being in a dilemma whether or not to change my answer
but yeah,
today i checked it another time through,
and i could see the mistakes that i made and i corrected them
i mean,
God helped me!!

okay, i think you get it already :)
anyway, my teacher said i passed History!
yay! to God be the glory, ALWAYS!
i cannot explain to you how God has helped me, cause it's so amazing how God helps me!

people say i'm smart
naturally and all those stuff
really, i don't think so
it's God helping me
without God, i don't think i'd be able to do anything
i am helpless
i am worthless
without God
and that is truth
that is not self pity
that is because God is my everything! :)





okay, whether or not you got my point, i don't know.
but yes,
again and again
i am continually being amazed by God's AMAZING LOVE!

God bless!

Monday, October 17, 2011

God Is Beyond Cool!!!!

WARNING : this post is gonna be a bit gross and has to do with my girl problems, so if you are easily disgusted, ......... don't know lah, just read and see! :P

okay, so this is gonna be quick,

had my period last night
(told you it's gonna be gross)
so nothing much. no pains or cramps,
PRAISE GOD!
could do my BM exams fine, except some minor disturbances, but it doesn't have anything to do with my period, so yeah. :)
PRAISE GOD!

then when i came home, i started having slight pain.
i thought it was normal lah.
then after awhile, the pain got a bit intense.
so i decided to rest. had a short nap,
and when i woke up, there was this sharp pain
whatever it was, i felt so so so uncomfortable.

so i went downstairs.
suddenly felt nauseated.
it was very minor so i didn't think i was gonna puke
(i puke sometimes when i get my period)
but then i really felt like vomiting
so i went to the toilet
was squatting there for a few minutes
feels terrible when you know you're gonna vomit, but you can't
vomited after while. felt better!
PRAISE GOD!

so i went and sit in the room,
felt so uncomfortable, i wish i was lying down, but i didn't wanna move
mom asked me to take panadol and go sleep,
so i did.
immediately after i gulped down the panadol, i felt like puking
yes, i did.
so i lied down downstairs.
felt so comfortable, i wish i was sitting up right, but i didn't wanna move

okay, here's the GOOD part
i suddenly felt like singing,
'Jesus, what a beautiful name
Son of God, Son of Man
Lamb that was slain
Joy and peace, strength and hope
Grace that blows all fears away
Jesus, what a beautiful name'
didn't really know ALL the words, but i sang anyway.
and i started crying.

then i realized, i didn't cry at all.
maybe the pain was too intense i forgot to cry,
but i was crying while singing,
AND IT FELT GOOD!
PRAISE GOD!
so yes, that's all i wanted to say. i have to go sleep now!

always remember,
when you praise God during stormy times,
you get blessed :)
cause you realize how cool and awesome God is
and how He is ALWAYS THERE no matter what :)

God bless you all!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Poetical much. . . #6

i am here, on my own
reading a book, a letter
& yes i wonder,
what is a life in the gutters

because i've been reading
about it, that i wonder
how to seek the lost,
how to find a soul,
how to save a life,
how to tell a story untold.

no, this poem doesn't really mean anything.
just felt so inspired reading,
that i just had to write something.

keep your heads held high,
cause you don't know when you might see another rainbow (:
God bless you!

*

sometimes, i feel ashamed of what i've done,
i cannot stand looking back,
so i sit and cringe at the thought.

sometimes i sit back and think,
'what if?', 'maybe?', 'one day, probably?'
so instead, i sit back wishing.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Poetical Much #5

5 September

very funny,
how what i do, is always wrong
is never right
in your eyes.

very funny,
why for the first time,
finishing my holiday homework, though not on time
still isn't right
in your eyes

me not working hard? picture that with a kodak.

very funny,
how you know i'm a phlegmatic-sanguine
but say that all that days i sat studying with no modem
is not called working hard.
in your eyes.

very funny,
how that string of 7 A's, no failings or D's, just C's
doesn't scream "GOOD RESULTS"
in your eyes.

very funny, how a heartless couple
could have begotten a girl
so fragile, so emotional.
in your eyes.

i don't quite know how to say how i feel.
just some random kind words made all the difference.
what is wrong with me, Lord?

*


7 September
funny how selfishness kills you softly inside.

being selfish is subjective, literally.
why do we care so much about ourselves?

but really, why are we taken for granted?
why does our emotional needs get ignored?

i would rather teach you than give you my answers
& hearing you blab with someone not me makes my soul bleed.

why do you have so much to say to her,
but nothing to tell me?

funny how people rarely say thank you after borrowing my homework
especially after she rudely asks me with no 'please' for it.

*


22 September
life is like a prism
it can create a rainbow if placed properly at light
but the continual shine can be painful sometimes.


when will i be able to see him again?
my raging hormones are seriously annoying me.
interest in every nice guy,
crap this sucks.
maybe if he was here, it wouldn't be like this.
if i still liked digi, it wouldn't  be like this.
but it would also mean i'd be obssessed.
so yes, i'd prefer it likes this.
then when it gets out of hand, i'd prefer it not.
*
oooh, i wanna glow in the dark!
kid with a bullet soul (: ooh, love is the one true innovation > is also the only art (:
*


i'll find repose in new ways.

it's just so funny how interested you are in my life.
you don't even want to see my report card,
obviously that string of 8 A's, 1 B, 2 C's doesn't concern you.
you just want me to get good results so that you don't have to pay for my tertiery education.

why am i not used to this constant under appreciation?

it's also funny how he only said "Why always C for Sejarah?"
"B+? Pengetahuan Moral" *Signs paper.
Nice to know that you can't see that friggin' 3 A+'s.

why am i hurt? is this selfishness? mere self pity, maybe!

i miss having a best friend.
i've lost a few.
when will i make a new one/start trusting?
why have i closed off from the world?
why am i like this?

God, i don't wanna think all about myself.
but it hurts. so Lord, i'm surrendering my cares to You.
You're all i'm holding on to.

cause yes, my tears are invisible.

*
it's really nice to know that someone still cares that you're doing well in school academically.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Not A Goner. Am Still A Proud Gooner!

(a frustrated, brainless, don't-know-much gooner's post. you have the right to ignore)


to think of it,
i was almost in love with Koscielny...
must have been the way he talked about him on Arseblog Liveblog during the Dortmund game.



first off,
complaints about Blackburn

really,
why their face so LC wan?????
...
okay fine,
maybe not

THAT KEEPER OF THEIRS HAVE SOME SERIOUS ISSUES!
(not that it matters much, but..)
he always kick wan ma, then his kicks all swerve dunno go where wan. -.-

that Yakubu lah. LC fella
then olsson also
he was seriously kidding man
what kind of 'foul' was that?
was that EVEN a foul?

and that offside goal! i don't know much,
BUT WASN'T THAT JUST PLAIN OBVIOUS THAT IT WAS OFFSIDE?!?!?!!?!?
(well, yea, i didn't know it was offside lah)




okay, back to the team.
we should blame Blackburn eh?
no sorelosering now.


the first half was good.
very the proud of them!
we had possession and all
then second half,
BOOM
two own goals
another one from that yakubu



this post is just to let out my frustration
and to tell you that i will NOT ever forsake this club.
they don't need me,
but i am gonna support them!

i don't give a cent lah that the darn media is rubbing salt on the wound!
rub summore lah rub!
it's been so painful that i don't mind it being so much more painful!

we gooners will take the pain
because we know those there are in more pain than we are experiencing

i may make very little sense right now
that is because this post is very much based on my emotions
and if you didn't already know, my emotions are not very trust-worthy

well yeah! i still want my Arsenal jersey!


i still don't understand
why are the fans losing hope?
yeah it's terrible
yeah it's painful
yeah it's nonsensical


i have nothing else to say but,

Arsenal, i am still on your side.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Pale Silver Lining


i hear the after-rain waters
on the ground
splashed around
by the cars that run

i see them kids
in colourful raincoats
i see them playing
in the puddles by rain

it's still drizzling
but i'm here,
just right outside
the corridor of shelter

i am amazed
at the wonders, You made
at the skies, no haze
at the wind, like a gale

and i think about you over there
an hour earlier,
you're seeing the sunset already
the night approaching

well, yes, it's fading
but i'm memorizing
how i feel
cause when you come back,
it may all return again.



random poem :) just cause i miss all of you
just cause what He made is oh so very pretty! :D

God bless you all!

Friday, September 2, 2011

Black Cheongsam by Michelle Leong equals Happy Emo Emo

whoa.
so much to tell you about, so little time.


well, the 'more important updates' are:...
okay fine, on second thought, i'd be nice to you since you won't be hearing from me for some time.

well, 23rd of August!
mom's birthday
i love her
wrote her a note that said,
"happy birthday, mummy! you *draws a rock my *draws the earth"
(it reads "you rock my world" if you still don't get it)
she started telling her friends on facebook.
epic.

24th of August
Siew Viann's birthday.
crashed her house once. crashed her house twice. :))))

26th of August
went to school since there was Moral Drama.
we didn't do that well.
everything was a mess, but hey, we tried! :)

started doing some of my holiday homework.
felt like a productive day. heh.
marked the start of my holidays that afternoon!
wheee, wheee, wheeeee, so excited! :D

27th August
worship practice for MYF at 10am-12pm
art class at 2pm-4pm
worship practice @ VCC at 4pm-5.45pm
Viann's house for Serene's farewell at 5.45pm-around 11.45pm
Fooh Singh(was that the name? lol) for the last supper with Serene, Joanne, Viann, Phil and Khian Lim until 12.45am

28th August
church at 9am-12.15pm (didn't get to stay for potbless ): sigh)
worship practice at MYF from 12.30pm-3pm
MYF 3pm-6.15pm
some newborn baby dinner of a cousin 7pm-9.30pm

29th August
went to Viann's house for fun and to play Monopoly Deal(2nd day in a row) from 2pm-5.15pm
dinner with Khalee, Leena, and Carmen at 5.15pm-7pm
walked around Jusco with Khalee and Carmen from 7pm-8.30pm (they claimed that whenever you go in a shop with me, you don't get out for quite some time! :P)

30th August
watched Cars 2 with Abel and Joanne at 10.40am-12.30pm
impromptu lunch plans. called Khoo Chong Lay and Viann! at Lee's(formerly known as Lee's Burgers) 12.45pm-around 2.45pm
Jusco with them.
played Monopoly Deal at KFC(3rd day in a row)
went back home at like 5





LOL i am a terrible fail.
i'm so sorry for not posting this on time or even finishing it! :P

i'll be back one day. good bye! :)

Monday, August 22, 2011

Poetical much. . . #4

22 August

(i realize that i do this mostly when i'm emo... =P)
occasionally, i feel like jumping out a window.
occasionally, i feel like trying to fly off a building.
occasionally, i just don't want to live anymore.
occasionally.

that's when times get tough.
that's when people around me fail.
that's when i, ultimately fail.

i don't know why these stuff happens
i don't know exactly why we all suffer
what i know,
is i find ALL i need in His unending Love,
in His unfailing love.

i feel so at peace when i think of You, God.

i'm giving it all away, away! i'm giving it all to go Your way! (:

You're all i want! Help me know You are near!

*

i miss him... but maybe i don't.

*

#thatawkwardmoment when i'm gonna (finally) write my goals!

Short term :
  1. FOR END YEAR : Get minimum of 6 A-s
  2. Save RM 100 for short mission trip?
  3. Go to library weekly starting in Sept.
  4. FOR END YEAR : No failing!
*




performance at JJ did NOT go well, IMO
but oh well, it's over! YAY!

okay, good bye!

God bless! :)

Sunday, August 21, 2011

E-days

it would be a great deal if my parents were to not attend any of my performances (and i don't know why)

it would also mean a great deal if they were to come and just watch (and i still don't know why)

it was a great deal when my mum told me they would both attend my school's Speech Day

it was also a great deal when my mum said she might not attend it the night before

it meant so much to actually see both of them turn up

it feels good to know they are just there...



dms

Funny

just the fact that you were online made me smile :)

but still,

feeling a little off

yeah, the mood's a little off

God has been good, don't get me wrong

i mean seriously lah, when hasn't He been good?
never.

i don't know what's up with me
or maybe i do

paranoia
sounds like it's coming to me
the illness
really.


God, i look to You.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Milo Fuze

exams are over! YAY!

but there's still so much to do!
the performance is approximately 7 days and 7 hours away!
we came up with a new repertoire, different from the Speech Day one
with only one week left,
we're keeping our hopes unbroken

if we do succeed in pulling it off,
it'll be the bomb! :D
but yeah, even if we don't,
it's alright :) experience :)

gotta go!
will be back to tell you more!
(yes, i do realize that's it's terrible of me to leave you all hanging. lol)

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Eh, Hey! What's Up, Man?!

well, ain't it kind of me to be back informing you on the highlights of my life when exams are just one week away?!


well okay, here's the books i got from Scholastic (the Romeo & Juliet Code was from the last time)


this are the first books i got. Small Steps was the bomb!


okay, so David came back from US and is leaving on Friday back to Papua
so we had our last lunch/tea with him. it was fun :)
(it was quite sad at the same time since we said our last goodbyes ): but not forever lah)
here, the group picture of those who went to Secret Recipe
(yes, i feel bad for not taking a group picture with the rest who were at Rachel Ong's house! felt very syok sendiri :P hehe)


okay, gotta go. won't be here for about two weeks plus! self grounding!
hopefully this time it works like the other times! :)

oh, and i have to say!
God is amazing
i am amazed
i am continually going to be amazed
just watch me in amazement....
no, i meant, watch me be amazed.....
ah, never mind.
point is, GOD IS AWE-SOME!
woooooohhh!!!

Oh God, You are my God and i will ever praise You

God bless! (:

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Poetical much. . . #3

14 July

I feel like a failure
Somedays I wanna be normal for a bit
I want to, again, fly off some tall building
I don't feel like living anymore

But i find comfort & strength
Not of my own
I find it from God.
I find my purpose in living
Because of Him

all i know, is i find rest in You.

*

20 July

I am too lazy to write something that rhymes.
Could i be stressed subconsciously?
I still wake up in the early mornings ;
wondering why the alarm hasn't rung/thinking i should be awake/to pull on my blanket on.
but seriously, how on earth is that possible?
And today i am wondering,
why our relationship status, why our PURITY is taken for granted?
I find no purpose in this world. I only see a reason to live in Him

all i know, if i find rest in You.

*

that was a few weeks ago (:

i've been pretty busy.
but not really also lah :P

went out with Carmen, Khalee and Leena just now
walked to Burger King (Burber King!) from Ipoh Timur
walking doesn't seem troublesome anymore :)
we went to Tokutokuya and bought matching bottles (yes, we are weird)
then we studied at Burger King while talking and doing nonsense!
we ate fries and drank lots of coke

not much after that, but it was a good girls time out!


monthly test soon.


God is good all the time! :D


You're everything

God bless ! :)

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Poetical much. . . #2

5 July

I find the nights longer
Or was I half awake?
The wait never felt so long
I never found myself awaiting dawn.

*

it's possible, a mental breakdown on the way
it is my fault anyway:
  • i don't manage my time well - i think and think about what i should not.
but even when i turn it off & blame myself, the outcome feels the same

*

there's a song that's inside of my soul.
it's the one that i've tried to write over & over again.
i'm awake in the infinite cold!

i hear him singing,
"do you love me enough to let me go?"
is this in my head?
i don't know what to think.

*

again, stuff i write in my notebook.
not much to say, i suppose.
good bye.

God bless!

Monday, July 4, 2011

Cause Regrets Are All That Fills My Mind?

yes,
at one point i said to myself, "this is worth trying! this is the one thing i know i won't regret trying. this is the one thing that i'll regret NOT trying to do"

okay, well that point is over.
i regret doing it
why do i even try?!
is it getting too obvious?
why am i doing what i'm doing?
why do i even try?
why do i care?
why does my heart heave a sigh?
why does my heart feels like it has dropped to the depths of the sea?
why does my heart feel so heavy just thinking about it?

i don't even know what to feel.

should i just give in?
should i just let it go?


*

arghhh!
this is probably the saddest week of the year
meltdown!

what a way to start the second half of the year
saying goodbye?
hmm, saying goodbye reminds me! i need to post up the story i wrote for my mid-year exam!..
that's beside the point!
anyway, the second half of the year greeted me with goodbyes
don't know how i'll let go of the friends i practically grew up with
don't know how i'll let go




God bless!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Poetical much. . .



I feel happy today =D
It feels like some sunshine on a rainy day!
The sun rays collide with the droplets of rain,
forming several lines, protruding from the hills.

Today is a happy day =D
It felt, for the first time, yesterday,
that I had a friend, again.

Do we have to play a game?
A game of learning how to feel the same
To learn to unlock our two different self's
To show that we are the same?

I still wait for the silence
To wish for a conversation
But I know its up to You
To give, or not, what I pray for.

"Life is not what I thought it was, 2 hours ago.
Still I'm singing, Spirit take me up in arms with You."
"Waist deep in thought because when I think of him,
I don't feel so alone."
Why do I feel so alone? Why do I still think of him?


*

24th June

time, like birds, fly past by
i'm running through a scene,
with butterflies

yesterday, a written story,
today, a continuation
tomorrow, a mystery
i want a confirmation.

*

some stuff i write in my notebook :)
i feel extremely happy when i am inspired to write
it feels like God is being the rain that falls
& He falls on my heart and makes me new :)

God, You make me smile (:

God bless!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Happy! TEEHEE!

hello, good morning, how you do?
what makes your rising sun so new?

why am i happy?
  1. i have a nice comment for my previous post! (yes, i like comments on my blog posts. but no, that doesn't mean i want a comment for every single post.)
  2. i screwed up yesterday morning but God reminded me of how awesome He is, and how unawesome i am! :D
  3. SOMEONE IS BACKKKKKKKKKKK!!!! :D :D :D :D (i felt like crying when i saw him!!)
  4. bass class was fun!!!!!! :DDD
  5. skipped school today! yay!
was supposed to post this up yesterday, but yeah, had homework to do and i was really tired.

anyway, here comes the emo side of the post!
bear with me! (i'm not as emo as some people, don't worry!)

i'm just confused
i don't understand why it's so hard to detach
if you didn't know, there was three people after that
but you don't know how much i don't want anyone anymore
i don't trust my feelings anymore
it's like, i know that it will go away
i know that it isn't worth thinking about, even
but why can't i just push it aside and live my life?
why can't i just do what i should?


kiss me goodbye, i'm defying gravity
and you won't bring me down

God bless!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Hey-ho

HELLO
:)

well i'll give you all a little update lah, kay?

got 29th in class :) :P
around 71% average marks
3 point something GPS(whatever it is)
i didn't sit for two papers, that's how i got number 29! :)

yeah, i may be a little disappointed for not getting a proper placing.
but i didn't sit for those two papers because i was at Cameron Highland's for Church Camp
and Church Camp was definitely wayyyyyy better than getting a placing :)

anyhow, i thank God!
i am so grateful
i am in awe!
i mean, i am seriously very happy with my marks
i managed to not fail anything(or just History) cause God made a way when there seemed to be no way!
and really lah, i think this is the most number of A's i've got for a school examination!
(well, yeah, it's partially because A minuses counts)
all glory to God, really!
if i can get around the same marks for my end year examinations, i would be thrilled!

but God, let Your will be done in my life
and let Your Name be lifted high! :)


okay, that's all!


God bless!

i'll stand
with arms high and heart abandoned
in awe of the One who gave it all

i'll stand
my soul, Lord, to You surrendered
all i am is Yours

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Penang (Part 2)

the waves crashing on the shore

random photography experiments!

random photography experiments!

our free welcome drinks! fruit punch!

heh heh heh

GREEN SPLASH! some random car! hehe

follow me to paradise! yeah!

the dress that caught my eye @Parkson, Gurney Plaza

Gurney Place

fooooooooooooooooood @Gurney Drive

sotong kangkung! and siput duri!

machee! :)

cockles! yum yum yummmmmm! they were really big!

sotong kangkung! but i prefer ipoh one :P

Abel figuring how to eat the cockles

chee cheong fun! i didn't taste any. lol

penang laksa!

rojak! yeah, i prefer ipoh's rojak :P

lo hon kor... however you spell it :P VERY THE NICE!

char kuey teow!
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Penang (Part 1)

my weird fascination for lamps :P


the room! (minus the kitchen)



Paradise!... it seems :P



the bed!



nice picture, eh?



the view from up here!






the mini island (i don't think it can even qualify. lol)






the swimming pool!



BEWARE OF JELLY FISH WHEN SWIMMING! oh, WATCH YOUR STEP TOO!



flower!



she sells seashells on the seashore! :D



this is my mum! :D



she sells MORE seashells ON THE SEASHORE!



oooooooohhhhhh, BOTTLE!



message in a bottle? :)






:) Conty



Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Scotty McCreery : The Other Post

Question: What’s your proudest moment in life outside of American Idol?
Answer: Letting Christ into my life.



yeah, that's one of the Q&A's i found on Scotty's profile

a lot of people has been hitting hard on him
probably cause he is 'no where' near James or Pia (or in my case, Paul :P )
but hey, there's no use crying over spilled milk eh?
yeah, we aren't Americans. we didn't have the 'power' over the results
but we're here, and now we've got two options;
Scotty or the Lauren Alaina

i'm not being biased
i don't support Scotty cause he is cute/charming
i don't support Scotty just cause his a Christian (though it was one of the main things that caught my eye while i was browsing through the contestant's profiles)
you've got to admit he has an extremely unique voice and he knows what he wants to do
judges have been complaining a little every now and then, that the contestants don't know what kind of artiste they are.
but Scotty? please, isn't it obvious enough that he is SO going into country?

yes, it's good being versatile and all.
but look at Carrie! she sang country most of the time! (.. fine, maybe she wasn't as 'boring' as Scotty)
but really, we don't know what's gonna happen in the future!
give him a chance, already!




God bless!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I'll Write you A Poem..

Cause i don't write love songs (:







I try to pick myself up all the time,
I try to escape from feeling fire inside,
I try not to hate, I try not to covet,
I try not to covet the attention I cannot get

But all seems to be lost,
all feels useless in doing
I try so hard & I don't succeed

But I get up no matter what,
Get up in hope that I won't become
the me that I've been told about
the me that will destroy a life
a life, my own.

I get up with help from above
from Him whose grace is all I need.

-contychi.

honestly, it's pretty tough
tough for an emotional person to take hold of her emotions









God bless!