Sunday, September 25, 2011

Poetical Much #5

5 September

very funny,
how what i do, is always wrong
is never right
in your eyes.

very funny,
why for the first time,
finishing my holiday homework, though not on time
still isn't right
in your eyes

me not working hard? picture that with a kodak.

very funny,
how you know i'm a phlegmatic-sanguine
but say that all that days i sat studying with no modem
is not called working hard.
in your eyes.

very funny,
how that string of 7 A's, no failings or D's, just C's
doesn't scream "GOOD RESULTS"
in your eyes.

very funny, how a heartless couple
could have begotten a girl
so fragile, so emotional.
in your eyes.

i don't quite know how to say how i feel.
just some random kind words made all the difference.
what is wrong with me, Lord?


7 September
funny how selfishness kills you softly inside.

being selfish is subjective, literally.
why do we care so much about ourselves?

but really, why are we taken for granted?
why does our emotional needs get ignored?

i would rather teach you than give you my answers
& hearing you blab with someone not me makes my soul bleed.

why do you have so much to say to her,
but nothing to tell me?

funny how people rarely say thank you after borrowing my homework
especially after she rudely asks me with no 'please' for it.


22 September
life is like a prism
it can create a rainbow if placed properly at light
but the continual shine can be painful sometimes.

when will i be able to see him again?
my raging hormones are seriously annoying me.
interest in every nice guy,
crap this sucks.
maybe if he was here, it wouldn't be like this.
if i still liked digi, it wouldn't  be like this.
but it would also mean i'd be obssessed.
so yes, i'd prefer it likes this.
then when it gets out of hand, i'd prefer it not.
oooh, i wanna glow in the dark!
kid with a bullet soul (: ooh, love is the one true innovation > is also the only art (:

i'll find repose in new ways.

it's just so funny how interested you are in my life.
you don't even want to see my report card,
obviously that string of 8 A's, 1 B, 2 C's doesn't concern you.
you just want me to get good results so that you don't have to pay for my tertiery education.

why am i not used to this constant under appreciation?

it's also funny how he only said "Why always C for Sejarah?"
"B+? Pengetahuan Moral" *Signs paper.
Nice to know that you can't see that friggin' 3 A+'s.

why am i hurt? is this selfishness? mere self pity, maybe!

i miss having a best friend.
i've lost a few.
when will i make a new one/start trusting?
why have i closed off from the world?
why am i like this?

God, i don't wanna think all about myself.
but it hurts. so Lord, i'm surrendering my cares to You.
You're all i'm holding on to.

cause yes, my tears are invisible.

it's really nice to know that someone still cares that you're doing well in school academically.

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