Thursday, April 19, 2012

'If Speed's A Pro, Inertia Must Be A Con'

love has to be solid and grounded,
love cannot just be floating about,
slipping away, or shifting around
the reason for gravity
the reason for inertia

(*note : i still don't fully understand the concept. i'm just blogging bout what i feel. :P )

*

i believe in love because the person that i am suppose to fall in love with hasn't caught my eye

sounds pretty absurd, eh?
as nonsensical as it may seem,
that is one of the reasons why i believe in love
of course i believe in love cause God has shown me His unfailing love.
but let's talk about a different kind of love here.
the kind of love which pushes you toward commitment, toward planning for the day where you say, "Yes, i do." at the altar.

my thinking may seem a little idealistic.. okay, okay. VERY idealistic
but hey, what's a dreamer gotta do if it ain't to dream? :D

i watch movies, i watch TV series
i hear stories, i read romance novels(okay, minus the 's' cause as far as i remember, i've only read one :P)
and yes, i know,
my love story will never be as fictitious as portrayed in those movies
because,
"Never compare your story to those in movies because those were written by scriptwriters and yours by God."
but at the end of the day,
it leaves you hoping,
it leaves you believing,
believing that one day, you will finally be able to write about your own love story
to tell everyone that, YES love exists!

but of course, not in all cases
people make the wrong decisions,
but i'm not here to talk about that (only cause i haven't got my views organized on this!)

so, i believe in love because i have not met the person that i'll be in love with
it's like,
a unicorn!
i hear people talk about this mythical creature,
and i believe them!
and i'm pretty sure that i'll believe it when i see it!

and,
love is waiting,
love does not rush
:)

*

This picnic will soon depart
Real life, I'm sad to see you go
I'll miss you with all my heart
But I'd rather be alone
'Cause I couldn't live without
Sunsets that dazzle in the dusk
So I'll drag the anchor up
And rest assured, 'cause dreams don't turn to dust



God bless you! (:

Monday, April 16, 2012

A Beautiful Letdown

why do we fall for people?
why do we fall for people who obviously like someone else & will never fall the same way for you?


it's pretty weird
we know that we shouldn't feel the way we do
but we continue building it up
like building a castle out of paper cups on a windy day at the beach
will not the cups fly toward the ocean or at any direction?
will you not be left brokenhearted?

*

BECAUSE THE PAST IS PRESENT


-

'We don't know what we're doing'
'Let's do it again'
Not in this case.
we don't know why these things happen
we are lost & confused
how do we fix things?
how do we relieve the pain?
how do we make each other laugh again?

-

i hear the sound of my heart beating but 'a warm body don't mean i'm alive'

-

'What time is it where you are?
i miss you more than anything'
'& it's driving me mad, i miss you so bad.'
is there someone i can build a fresh friendship with?
cause i've broken all that i had and i don't feel like fixing anything.
There's no point looking back anyway.

-

God, chisel away. even though it hurts & it's painful, chisel away God, i know You'll never forsake me (:

-

i just want a friend i can tell anything to!
talk to about ANYTHING!
an almost best friend! someone who'll tell me what's wrong.
someone who can sense when there's something wrong.
someone who knows that i actually hate the silence unless i'm happy.
that ultimately knows that i just need someone there for me. & will accept me for who i am & care.

i am a dark shadow
i don't know where i go
i don't know why people don't understand me
i don't know why me caring is misunderstood as something else
why won't anybody see through me?
see that i need love & care?
i'm just like every other human
i think others get more love than me
but nobody sees.

-

Every lost friendship is like the rain, it rains, and rains & sometimes it floods. it destroys some of the things we have and things never seem to get better. but remember that the sun will shine again & the rain clouds are sure to go away. it won't rain forever & things will get better. take heart. (:

& friends are like the rain clouds (:
even when the rain clouds leave,
you still feel the loss of the friendship because you're still drenched

*

i asked for the crash
the meltdown
to see that person with someone else ;
i got it.

because i know it was never meant to be.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

What Runs Through The Mind Of A Teen

okay, besides all the dramatic "i'm so hurt", "everyone only knows how to hurt me", "life sucks", in plain words, negativity and selfishness.

but here's what's running through my mind now.
i know it's pretty... typical. corny. cheesy. whichever it's supposed to be, but just bear with me. :D

okay, so.
we have crushes on people right?
some on singers, footballers, actors (speaking from a girl point of view here, duh.)
but sometimes we have a crush on people we know
people we talk to on a daily basis, weekly basis, or whatever basis. lol.
and how many times do you have a crush on someone ON PURPOSE?!

so yes, every time i have a crush on someone,
i feel bad for thinking about that person. (i really do not know why i am blogging this out since blogging this will keep a record of this and one day i will read this again and laugh at myself for being so dumb)
i mean, yeah. it's like wasting my time only i think about these people. lol.

this particular one, i'm really singing Accidentally In Love by Counting Crows.
like, i NEVER imagined myself having a crush on this person (i really feel stupid for blogging about this...)
like, i don't know why i think about him
it's so weird
cause he's not the kind of guy i would have a crush on.
i like guys who... okay fine, i don't know what kind of guys i like.
but he's just NOT the kind...
WAIT I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING
but yeah
i'm gonna regret this in a few hours.
okay, thanks for listening to me ya'll!



OH WAIT, BEFORE I END,
i need to tell you all something
I'M REALLY HAPPY
like really so very the happy.
like beyond happy it's crazy.
God's joy is not only unspeakable joy, it's UNCONTAINABLE JOY!
so hard to contain! i buzz every minute! lol... wait that didn't make sense.
LOL
erm, yeah.
ANYWAY SO HAPPY ON SUNDAY!
  1. it was Easter!
  2. there was church!  (enough a reason to be happy)
  3. when i was serving during worship, i was really blessed. i mean, when you're serving, you're blessing God's Name, but when i served, i was so blessed. i could feel God in our midst. and i was so blessed by that
  4. JESUS LIVES, so yea, knowing that, i could feel Him in our midst and because He lives, i can face tomorrow! :D
  5. the message that Pastor John Ooi spoke touched me. i could really feel God's love.
  6. YOUTH!
  7. worship at youth made me really happy! :) i could feel God in our midst again! :D
  8. then it was GAMES! :D i was in an all girls team before they decided to drag Cheng and Adrian into our team. was supposed to go to Sean's team but thank God i didn't cause i really had fun with all the girls.... and Cheng.... hahah. yea, the games was really fun! :)
  9. OH, REZA SALLEH REPLIED ME! TWICE! will upload the pic i print screen soon! :)
  10. i was just so happy lah. God really makes me so happy everyday! He's my Superhero! my Star, my Best Friend! :D
WILL EDIT THIS ONCE I GET BACK FROM PASAR MALAM!
BYE PEOPLE
I HOPE MY EXTREME HAPPY MOOD DOES NOT ANNOY YOU
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ACCEPTING ME FOR WHO I AM


GOD, YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING
I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU'RE IN MY LIFE
THAT YOU CHOSE ME TO BE YOUR CHILD

i should really quit the caps, right?

OKAY, GOD BLESS YOU!