Friday, June 22, 2012

If i Die Young

okay, so just saying,
if i die young, or if i die early,
tell my bro to search for my small green book.
it's the one that says 'thoughts and ideas' on it.
it'll either be in my school bag or something.

i've started writing some mini letters to certain people
i will continue as the days go by
i'm sorry if i didn't have the time to write you one
and if i did, that's not all that i wanna say, but words can only say so much

i have this other journal but it's best i don't disclose it's location lest someone breaks into my house to get hold of it.
just know that it has a really long red ribbon in it and if you find it, give to the person who wrote on the paper in my green book's last page(in the pouch)
sorry if this is too confusing to understand.

but don't worry, i don't think you'll need to use any of that information any time soon. i just left this post in case anything happens.
ps. oh, if i'm still very well and alive, i hope you respect my privacy and don't go steal my green book. hehehe


God has been great
He has been amazing
His love that surrounds me
His strength that sustains me

You are beautiful, God
so beautiful

God bless you! :)

Sunday, June 3, 2012

So i Was Wondering..

do you ever think that the world is unfair?
that nobody else, even your friends, think that you are capable of being sad?
that everyone thinks that your life is perfect?
that your emotions don't matter?

do you ever feel like you're the only one faking a smile?
like everybody else lets their walls down so easily
and all you can do is sit there and watch everyone swarm toward them,
giving them the comfort that they need

do you ever think that nobody truly cares?
because the world is selfish and yeah,
you're probably not capable of ever being sad,
so why should anyone bother bout how you feel?

do you ever feel like you're all alone and no one's there?
and yeah, everyone has their own people to talk to
one moment, people tell you how great a friend you are
and the next, they can't even decipher your codes of resistance

do you ever feel like no one understands?
that everyone seems to pass you by,
because to them, you look like you need some time alone,
but your heart screams for some attention

because at the end of the day, no, you're not alone
and yes, you have gone too long THINKING that you're alone, but no.
insecurity can blow your mind, and not in a good way, mind you.
but hey, why don't you let your walls down just to someone you actually trust?
yeah, you probably forgot how to trust anyone, but no man is an island.
there are times for solitude, but there are times when all you need to do is let it out

and yea, at times you forget that God is there
that He will never fail
that He is always there and He allows things to happen for a reason
that He will never leave even when everyone else has walked away

so i'd like to apologize if i have ever been unfair to you
or if i made it seem like you weren't capable of being sad
or that your emotions didn't matter
if i was never there and never deciphered your codes of resistance
if i never understood, or i passed you by
i'm sorry that i'm not a good friend when i'm needed

thank You, God, for the friends You've given me.
for the friends that were there in times of need
and when no one was there, i thank You for being my sustenance and comfort.

God bless!