Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Mess of me

maybe you've done so much wrong
maybe you were too selfish
maybe all you ever did was superficial
maybe what you did was never worth it
maybe you were wrong
in all aspects of handling relationships
maybe you're too melodramatic
maybe you're super fake
maybe you don't deserve it after all
maybe your expectations were too high
maybe you thought they'd think of you in return
maybe you thought you think of them enough
maybe you thought that your sacrifice was darn big
maybe you thought they'd treat you with more enthusiasm
maybe you thought they'd celebrate your being, your existence


*

for me, the solution to let go of someone is pretty simple,
just be sure that they're taken
being sure that someone else is already the reason for the butterflies in their stomachs

*

maybe you don't deserve to be celebrated


*

i give up,
on myself
i let go,
of myself

*

they say it's not who you miss when you're lonely at night,
it's who you miss when you're super busy in the middle of the day

i'm not sure if i'm deceiving myself,
but i guess it's just that talking to someone relieves stress

*

all these thoughts, feelings, emotions
makes me feel like i'm so dependent on how people treat me
and maybe that is the case

so tired
there were days when each hour was a war that i fought to survive
but God, You are my strength, strength like no other, reaches to me
don't let me lose sight of that

*

and i let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do

stages of the best,
i wish you weren't the best, the best i ever had
i wish that the good outweighed the bad

*

at the end of the day, i find my hope and rest in You
You're the hope that my heart is holding onto
skeptics won't understand, it's strange from the world's point of view
my answer is You

even when i feel this way,
help me recover and move up from it