Thursday, July 9, 2015


in those printed words,
i found emotion,
a way for my heart to pour out,
what, at that very moment, i couldn't

and there was a pain in those words,
a pain maybe fiction,
but it was far more a cry
and my heart sank at the thought of them

i could, for a moment,
believe that i felt,
a little or much,
of what grieve they had

but my worries were petty
my feelings were such,
they didn't amount to much,
they were just a consequence of hormones, imbalanced

they say that these would be,
the roaring years of our lives,
where we would take hold,
and charge to take flight

but i couldn't let the sight,
of my friends trading their lives,
with the devil, or so i thought,
down a path i would not

and slowly i believed,
that maybe i was wrong,
that i was never right,
to fight for the highs

what if the valleys they've tread down,
are what they need in life?
are what i cannot rob
lest we burn out too early, too bright

i felt so much fear,
of losing it all at once
of losing a love,
and friendships alike

i felt so lost,
when you let me go
i told you that i couldn't,
that i needed more coal

and at my request,
you didn't press on
we left it at that
and what was an anchor,
left to a dock, unknown

i felt so lost,
with storms i was unfamiliar with,
with new feelings that i never embraced,
with people i felt the need to be shielded from

and i don't know,
if the feelings i later developed,
were a mirror,
of everything you were

maybe in times of loneliness,
i let those other feelings,
creep in to replace
the large field of merry you left to me

i can't believe what i did
to be so foolish
to be so naive
to have the same thing,
happen to me

now, it's worse
and i can't avoid
i can't run far
to be a recluse and ignore

what makes it worse,
are my responsibilities,
they tire me out
and leave me hanging

i have no clue
about what i should do
if i should stay,
if i should act cool

but it's like a fire,
two flames,
one blue, one red,
i cannot decide, which first to tame

for when i focus,
on one, not the other,
it burns, burns brighter
and i feel more scared than ever

and at times like these,
i would wish,
i would feel,
that if maybe you were still,
" would sit with me
and smoothen crumpled paper,
deciphering its underlying meanings for me.
now I'm just fisting these crumpled papers
And maybe that's why I feel angry
Because I don't want to do,
I don't know how to feel properly
Why are you my clarity?"

i don't know what to do,
how to react,
how to feel
i've grown so tired,
a little overwhelmed
and at times i just wish for things to be simple

and then i remember a love
a love so divine
a love that doesn't fail
a love that won't run dry
it softens my heart,
to know that the love is for me
love that hung on a cross,
just to set me free

right now,
even in my self-made round of sorrow,
even in my self-afflicted misery,
in my confusion and restlessness,
i place my trust in the One who loves me

i fail,
the people around,
even God
but yet, His grace is an ocean and i'm sinking

and there's no place else i'd rather be.


i met the devil and i stared her in the eye
her hair had scales like silver serpents
i a statue, stood there mesmerised

i took the fire escape and made it out alive
yeah, i still burn from time to time but i've a healing Hand against my side

blisters on my feet i crawled back home
frozen from the sleet burned sand and stones
nourished back to life by Life alone
with one shake of the mane regain the throne

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