Monday, April 17, 2017

Honey & the Bee

bila disengat,
keluarkan bisa
and when you're no longer in the heat of the moment,
make a decision
kalau tak,
you'll be rash
because the pain
will influence your path


*


it's difficult to be rational in the heat of the moment
especially when you're a feeler
i, in particular, think (read:feel) in extremes
my solutions are rather bizarre
it's difficult to come up with a rational solution
so it's important to have support of people who would tell you what's the rational way


*

thought i'd burn bridges.
i didn't want to watch you hurt yourself
it felt like you were taking our friendship for granted
i couldn't stand to watch anymore
because what i felt suddenly became greater in significance
and that shook me to the core

but i realise that i need to get rid of what isn't right,
to make way for what is better
"Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih"

as i walk out,
there's no reason to stop being a friend
i'll be there for you even if it's from a distance
because slowly, we'll have to part ways
and eventually, i'll cease to matter


*


familiarity breeds contempt


*


i've been a liar and i'll never amount to
the kind of person who deserves to worship You
You said You will not dwell on what i did
but rather, what i do
You said, "I love you, and that's what you are getting yourself into."


Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me


*


most days,
i'm sick of myself
i wish i could run
run from this unraveling of my inner demons
run from the person i don't want to be
run from the people that reflects this being

i'm only human

i need to recuperate too


*



i find hope in the resurrection of Christ
He alone is my source of life


i wanna thrive
not just survive