Monday, April 17, 2017

Honey & the Bee

bila disengat,
keluarkan bisa
and when you're no longer in the heat of the moment,
make a decision
kalau tak,
you'll be rash
because the pain
will influence your path


it's difficult to be rational in the heat of the moment
especially when you're a feeler
i, in particular, think (read:feel) in extremes
my solutions are rather bizarre
it's difficult to come up with a rational solution
so it's important to have support of people who would tell you what's the rational way


thought i'd burn bridges.
i didn't want to watch you hurt yourself
it felt like you were taking our friendship for granted
i couldn't stand to watch anymore
because what i felt suddenly became greater in significance
and that shook me to the core

but i realise that i need to get rid of what isn't right,
to make way for what is better
"Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih"

as i walk out,
there's no reason to stop being a friend
i'll be there for you even if it's from a distance
because slowly, we'll have to part ways
and eventually, i'll cease to matter


familiarity breeds contempt


i've been a liar and i'll never amount to
the kind of person who deserves to worship You
You said You will not dwell on what i did
but rather, what i do
You said, "I love you, and that's what you are getting yourself into."

Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me


most days,
i'm sick of myself
i wish i could run
run from this unraveling of my inner demons
run from the person i don't want to be
run from the people that reflects this being

i'm only human

i need to recuperate too


i find hope in the resurrection of Christ
He alone is my source of life

i wanna thrive
not just survive